


Foux du Fafa

by Tarash



Category: Les Misérables (2012)
Genre: But still in France, Creperie AU, Deliberately Bad Fanfic, Deliberately Bad French, M/M, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 14:39:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6198973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarash/pseuds/Tarash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean Valjean owns a crêperie in Paris and he loves Javert the policeman but can a man who loves criminals love a man who makes great crêpes?!?!?!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Foux du Fafa

 

In the Rue du Montparnasse in Paris there was a crêperie owned by a man named Jean Valjean. It was called Les Crêperie du Maintenant and it was one of the best crêperies in Paris with some really awesome crêpes. Jean Valjean had won many awards for his amazing crêpes.

“Oh Jean.” Said Enjolras, one of the students who hung out in the crêperie. “Your crêpes are amazing. What more could you want in life. Mon Dieu?”

Jean sighed as he looked out the window and into the Rue du Montparnasse. “Zut alors. Someone to share it with.” He whispered. Every day a police man walked down this street and he was hot in a grumpy older man kind of way if you were into that. Which Jean was. But unfortunately the police man, Javert, was always in a hurry and never wanted to stop to accept Jean’s offer of a nice crêpe and maybe some coffee. He would make Javert the best crêpe ever, with pamplemousse and ananas and give him some jus d’orange to go with it. He sighed again. One day his day would come.

“Oh!” said Grantaire smirkingly. “I think Jean has his eye on a special someone to share his crêpes with! Oh la la!”

“Qu’est-ce que? Who is it!” yelled Combeferre. “We will totally help you woo the person of your dreams!”

“Merci guys but there is no way he would be interested in me.” From what Jean could gather, Javert wasn’t interested in anyone but criminals and justice. Not in crêpes. It was sad.

Enjolras laughed. “Magnifique, Jean, who would not be interested in you?”

Grantaire grinned. “Formidable, this man sounds like une idiote!”

Jean glared at Grantaire. “Bureau de change! How dare you speak of Javert –” He gasped, realising what he had just said. He turned red.

“Soup du jour!” Combeferre exclaimed. “You like Javert? That grumpy cop who keeps glaring at us when we’re being loud when we’re drinking wine avec le camembert?”

“Oui,” Jean admitted. “I can’t help it. He just looks so… so stern.”

Enjolras and Grantaire and Combeferre shared a worried look. “Well, if you’re certain you’re in love with Javert, we will help you, incroyable!”

“But how?” cried Jean. “He doesn’t care about anything but criminals and justice, fromage.”

“Then you will have to steal something so he has to chase you, naturellement,” said Grantaire. “When he catches you, you can explain things.”

Everyone sat stunned at this amazing plan. “Boeuf,” said Jean, starting to smile. “That is indeed a great plan, Grantaire. I will steal something immediately.”

“No, wait. He has to be in the street to catch you, piscine!” said Enroljas.

Five minutes later, Javert came walking down the street. Jean Valjean ran out to another crêperie, and took one of the cakes they had in the window. “Un, deux, trois! I am stealing this cake, look!” Jean shouted, his heart leaping with joy when Javert met his gaze. Javert had noticed him!

He ran back to his crêperie.

“Halt!” Javert shouted. “In the name of liberté, egalité and fraternité!”

He ran into Jean’s crêperie. “Javert!” said Jean.

“Yes. You’re a thief and I’m here to arrest you,” said Javert, “mais oui!”

“I will return this cake with an apology,” replies Jean, smiling at the grumpy older cop, “but you have stolen something as well, merde!”

Javert gasped. “You lie! I have never stolen anything in my life, je me debrouille.”

Jean smiled. “No, you have stolen my heart.”

“Oh.” Javert replied. His cheeks were turning red. “Pomme de terre.”

“So would you like to go on a date some time?” Jean asked. “We could lounge in the Tuilleries, or go to Berthillon for a nice icecream, moulin.”

“Yes,” said Javert.

“To the icecream or the lounging?” asked Jean. “Voiture.”

“Both.”

Jean smiled. Clearly Javert was a man of few words! Well, that was fine. “Then let’s go and rendez-vous at the Tuilleries after getting some icecream.”

“Trés bien, but only if you return the cake with your apologies,” insisted Javert.

Jean did that and apologised and then they went to get icecream and sat around in the Tuilleries and made out a lot. With tongues. Because they’re French and in France.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Foux du Fafa, réimaginer](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6312304) by [Monsteranon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monsteranon/pseuds/Monsteranon)
  * [Foux du Fafa [Remix]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6319885) by Anonymous 




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